Our Santo hammock is inspired by the saints and spirits adorning stickers on the windshields of overcrowded, stop-sign-running buses all over Latin America. Devout followers show their yearly holiday devotion by dressing as devils and drinking alcohol while shooting fireworks in the general direction of the dearly departed. Want to show your devotion? Relax, pray, and meditate in a hammock worthy of heaven.
A few reasons to place your faith in the Santo hammock:
Purity of Color: All White.
Room for Two: Stretches to 7.5’ wide and supports 800 lbs. The perfect indoor hammock bed for consenting adults.
Guard Against Indecency, Cold: Don’t be a shirtless heathen. Cover yourself! With beautiful and blanket-like white crocheted fringes.
Heavenly Comfort: Hand-woven nylon stretches and cradles you like an angel
FREE SHIPPING + FREE RETURNS + 100% GUARANTEE FOR 1 YEAR
FREE SHIPPING: We offer free shipping anywhere in the US. Average delivery time is 3-5 days via UPS Ground. Tracking #’s are available upon request by emailing us at email@example.com.
Live Outside the USA? We also ship internationally. The countries listed below are already loaded in our system and will calculate at checkout. If your country isn’t listed please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll be happy to quote a price and delivery time and update our shopping cart for easy ordering. NOTE: All sales are final on international orders. Also be aware that your country may charge import fees separate from our price.
Australia: $80. 4-8 days via DHL.
Canada: $28. 4-10 days via USPS.
UK: $40. 3-7 days via DHL.
Spain: $40. 3-7 days via DHL.
Japan: $40. 3-7 days via Yamato.
Thailand: $75. 3-7 days via UPS or DHL.
FREE RETURNS & EXCHANGES: For all orders within the USA we will provide a pre-paid return-shipping label if needed. We do not accept returns for international orders.
To return or exchange just email us at email@example.com and we’ll send you a pre-paid label. Or just return it without the label and we’ll refund an additional $20 via PayPal. Exchanges will be sent out at no extra shipping cost.
Send your returns or exchanges to:
8912 NE Alderwood Rd
Portland, OR 97220
100% GUARANTEE: We make the best damn hammocks out there and we promise you’ll love them. But if for some reason you get shipped off to a Siberian prison and your live-in aunt Thelma wants to return that “gosh darn rainbow-looking pile of yarn” you bought from us we’ll treat her right. You can return or exchange your hammock for any reason within 1 year from the date of purchase. If you’d like to exchange just let us know which style you’d prefer and we’ll ship it back out for free once we receive your returned hammock.
Still reading? Stop. Go select your hammock already! With free shipping and returns plus a 1-year 100% guarantee there’s no risk…
You can hang your hammock nearly anywhere, with or without a hammock stand. You only need 3 things:
At least 12 ft. of space between hanging points. More is fine.
6.5 ft. of height to work with.
Solid sturdy objects to hang to (wall studs, tree, post, beam, hammock stand, giraffe)
Note: Using a hammock stand? We do not currently sell hammock stands but our hammocks will work with them. Just buy a stand that has hanging points 12-15 feet apart.
The most important distances are A, B, and C. How high you drill into your wall or tie your strap to the tree depends on how far apart your walls or trees are. If they’re further than 12 ft. apart simply raise your “hanging point” accordingly so that the hammocks “eyes” remain roughly 6.5 ft. off the ground and 12 ft. apart.
Relax, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just make it look like a banana, and hang low enough to get in and you’ll be fine. Also, it’s OK to hang one end from a wall, another from a post, etc.
Position the hammock eyes:
A) 12 ft. apart
B) 6 ft. 6 in. off the ground
Position low point in middle of hammock:
C) 3ft off the ground (or waist height)
Secure two hanging points:
D) Roughly 12 ft. apart or more. Further apart is fine; just use more rope and raise the hanging point higher.
E) Roughly 6 ft. 6 in. or more off the ground. Higher is fine. If you must hang lower, than the middle of the hammock (“C”) will be closer to the ground. For example: You can use a hammock stand with hanging points 4 ft. high which will leave middle of hammock roughly 6 inches off the ground.
Now that you’ve taken your hammock from your South american alter-ego, take these essential accessories to hand and display your prize. Just click the yellow “ Add to Loot” button to add the item to your loot bag, and click “Checkout above to complete payment.
Spreader Bolster Pillow: $38
HOLD YOUR HAMMOCK OPEN WHEN NOT IN USE TO DISPLAY THE BEAUTY OF ITS DESIGN
2 pairs of ties to secure to hammock
Removable, zippered, linen case for easy removal and washing –
For anyone looking to sleep in their hammock you want to keep a few things in mind. First is the appearance of the hammock. Do the colors and design gel with your bedrooms current color palette? The Santo hammock works great with bright and light colored bedrooms, alike. But if you’re bedroom features darker, or more earthy tones you might want to consider the Bandido or Revolucionario instead.
Secondly, the hammock should be a good fit. A hammock that is too small will work fine for a short nap of an hour or two. But, for an entire night’s sleep you’ll want a larger, wider hammock. A large, double hammock will have sufficient width for you to lie diagonally or even sideways, changing positions to find the most comfort possible. For an indoor hammock bed, remember: the most comfortable hammock is a large hammock.
And since you’ll be spending the whole night sleeping in the hammock, comfort is definitely a priority. But besides the size, what else separates the most comfortable hammocks from all others? Material and weave. Lots of popular poolside or outdoor hammocks use all weather fabrics or Duracord rope. These work great in a hurricane, but they don’t breathe well and the stiff fabrics make them scratchy, rigid, and uncomfortable. Natural cotton is much softer and more comfortable. The open, double spring weave pattern of the Lazy Bandido hammocks allows them to stretch, flex and conform to your individual body weight and shape. This elaborate weave, the soft nylon strings, and generous size make them the best indoor hammock beds you could ask for.
Don’t Forget: If you’re going to hang your hammock inside you’ll want to purchase a wall hanging kit. Hanging directions will come with your order, but if you want to plan ahead, you can read directions here on how to hang a hammock indoors.
Ready for the best sleep of your life? Change your life with the Santo hammock!
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