Free Shipping & Returns + One Year 100% Guarantee.
Our Patron hammock is inspired the corrupt, stubborn bastards who have lied, swindled, and fought their way into the Presidential palaces of Latin America. You ever been shot at with a bazooka or offered an exploding cigar? These guys have. And if they weren’t dead, they’d no doubt be relaxing on the palace grounds with a well-inspected Cuban cigar and intricately hand-woven Mexican hammock.
A few reasons why El Patron is the patio hammock you’d steal if you were Dictator:
Timeless Colors: Navy Blue, Gray, White
Room for the Mistress: Stretching to 7.5’ wide and supporting 800 lbs. there’s plenty of room to hide an eye-catching partner
Cover Up on a Cool Night with our blanket-like fringes, fit for an unelected King
Presidential Comfort: Hand-woven nylon stretches and cradles you like an obedient servant
FREE SHIPPING + FREE RETURNS + 100% GUARANTEE FOR 1 YEAR
FREE SHIPPING: We offer free shipping anywhere in the US. Average delivery time is 3-5 days via UPS Ground. Tracking #’s are available upon request by emailing us at email@example.com.
Live Outside the USA? We also ship internationally. The countries listed below are already loaded in our system and will calculate at checkout. If your country isn’t listed please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll be happy to quote a price and delivery time and update our shopping cart for easy ordering. NOTE: All sales are final on international orders. Also be aware that your country may charge import fees separate from our price.
Australia: $80. 4-8 days via DHL.
Canada: $28. 4-10 days via USPS.
UK: $40. 3-7 days via DHL.
Spain: $40. 3-7 days via DHL.
Japan: $40. 3-7 days via Yamato.
Thailand: $75. 3-7 days via UPS or DHL.
FREE RETURNS & EXCHANGES: For all orders within the USA we will provide a pre-paid return-shipping label if needed. We do not accept returns for international orders.
To return or exchange just email us at email@example.com and we’ll send you a pre-paid label. Or just return it without the label and we’ll refund an additional $20 via PayPal. Exchanges will be sent out at no extra shipping cost.
Send your returns or exchanges to:
8912 NE Alderwood Rd
Portland, OR 97220
100% GUARANTEE: We make the best damn hammocks out there and we promise you’ll love them. But if for some reason you get shipped off to a Siberian prison and your live-in aunt Thelma wants to return that “gosh darn rainbow-looking pile of yarn” you bought from us we’ll treat her right. You can return or exchange your hammock for any reason within 1 year from the date of purchase. If you’d like to exchange just let us know which style you’d prefer and we’ll ship it back out for free once we receive your returned hammock.
Still reading? Stop. Go select your hammock already! With free shipping and returns plus a 1-year 100% guarantee there’s no risk…
You can hang your hammock nearly anywhere, with or without a hammock stand. You only need 3 things:
At least 12 ft. of space between hanging points. More is fine.
6.5 ft. of height to work with.
Solid sturdy objects to hang to (wall studs, tree, post, beam, hammock stand, giraffe)
Note: Using a hammock stand? We do not currently sell hammock stands but our hammocks will work with them. Just buy a stand that has hanging points 12-15 feet apart.
The most important distances are A, B, and C. How high you drill into your wall or tie your strap to the tree depends on how far apart your walls or trees are. If they’re further than 12 ft. apart simply raise your “hanging point” accordingly so that the hammocks “eyes” remain roughly 6.5 ft. off the ground and 12 ft. apart.
Relax, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just make it look like a banana, and hang low enough to get in and you’ll be fine. Also, it’s OK to hang one end from a wall, another from a post, etc.
Position the hammock eyes:
A) 12 ft. apart
B) 6 ft. 6 in. off the ground
Position low point in middle of hammock:
C) 3ft off the ground (or waist height)
Secure two hanging points:
D) Roughly 12 ft. apart or more. Further apart is fine; just use more rope and raise the hanging point higher.
E) Roughly 6 ft. 6 in. or more off the ground. Higher is fine. If you must hang lower, than the middle of the hammock (“C”) will be closer to the ground. For example: You can use a hammock stand with hanging points 4 ft. high which will leave middle of hammock roughly 6 inches off the ground.
Now that you’ve taken your hammock from your South american alter-ego, take these essential accessories to hang and display your prize. Just click the yellow “ Add to Loot” button to add the item to your loot bag, and click “Checkout above to complete payment.
Spreader Bolster Pillow: $38
HOLD YOUR HAMMOCK OPEN WHEN NOT IN USE TO DISPLAY THE BEAUTY OF ITS DESIGN
2 pairs of ties to secure to hammock
Removable, zippered, linen case for easy removal and washing –
Whether you decide to declare your allegiance to the Lazy Revolution and go with a Lazy Bandido hammock, or, you decide in favor of a less comfortable, boring model from the enemy, here is what you’ll want to know when choosing a hammock for your backyard.
First, as with any hammock, comfort is paramount. If it’s not comfortable, it’s a waste of space and money. The most comfortable outdoor hammocks feature hand-woven open weave pattern. The nylon is soft and forgiving against the skin, while the open weave allows the hammock to breathe and flex to your body weight.
Another thing you may consider is whether or not you want an all-weather hammock for your backyard. Despite any manufacturer’s claims, no outdoor hammock should be left out constantly. Fading and mold or mildew will occur. But, rope hammocks made of Duracord or solid fabric hammocks made from Sunbrella or other synthetic fabrics will resist the elements better. We don’t sell Duracord or Sunbrella hammocks. Why? Because they are not comfortable. They feel rigid and stiff against the skin and don’t allow for the careless relaxation a hammock should. But, with a Tree Hugger Hammock Kit you can quickly and easily hang your hammock and take it down between uses. Problem solved!
The Best Patio Hammocks
As with outdoor models, patio hammocks should be comfortable to lie in. But since they’ll generally be more protected from the elements you won’t need to worry as much about whether to sacrifice some of that comfort for an all-weather model. As an extension of your house, your patio should flow with the design and color patterns present in your home. The bold designs and varied colors of the Lazy Bandido line make any of them a candidate for the best patio hammock. Search through the different styles and choose the best hammock for you.