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Patron Double Hammock


Free Shipping & Returns + One Year 100% Guarantee.

Our Patron hammock is inspired the corrupt, stubborn bastards who have lied, swindled, and fought their way into the Presidential palaces of Latin America. You ever been shot at with a bazooka or offered an exploding cigar? These guys have. And if they weren’t dead, they’d no doubt be relaxing on the palace grounds with a well-inspected Cuban cigar and intricately hand-woven Mexican hammock.

A few reasons why El Patron is the patio hammock you’d steal if you were Dictator:

  • Timeless Colors: Navy Blue, Gray, White
  • Room for the Mistress: Stretching to 7.5’ wide and supporting 800 lbs. there’s plenty of room to hide an eye-catching partner
  • Cover Up on a Cool Night with our blanket-like fringes, fit for an unelected King
  • Presidential Comfort: Hand-woven nylon stretches and cradles you like an obedient servant

*(more info below)

  • Perfect for use as: an indoor hammock, as a permanent hammock bed, on the patio, or as a backyard hammock.
  • Wide enough for two adults. Strong enough to support four. (holds 800 lbs.)
  • Easy to get in and out of without tipping. Wooden spreader bars make most hammocks “tippy.” We don’t use them. Neither do the Mayans who weave them. Problem solved!
  • 100 % Nylon construction for extreme durability and reasonable weather resistance
  • Hand-woven by Mayan artisans in Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico
  • Double-spring weave allows the hammock to stretch, conform and support your individual weight and shape
  • 3 WAYS TO LAY:
  1. Lying straight puts your back in a “reclined” position with arms supported at your sides. Perfect for reading a book or enjoying the view.
  2. Lying diagonally puts you in a flatter position with head raised slightly. Easily adjust to find most comfortable angle (flatter or more upright). Recommended for sleeping.
  3. Lying or sitting sideways is fun and great for gently “swinging” back and forth. This is the best method for lying with multiple people.
  • Requires 12 ft. minimum hanging space. More is fine.
  • 6 ft. 7 in. “bed” length
  • 13 ft. total “eye to eye” length
  • 7 ft. 6 in. bed width
  • Weighs approx. 8.8 lbs.
  • 12” x 11” x 8” when folded
  • Ships in a 14” x 12” x 8” box
  • (Which costs you nothing by the way)
  • Free shipping.
  • Free returns.
  • 100% one year guarantee. No questions asked.
  • Exchanges also available for one year with no shipping cost either way.

$184.00Add to cart

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FREE SHIPPING: We offer free shipping anywhere in the US. Average delivery time is 3-5 days via UPS Ground. Tracking #’s are available upon request by emailing us at

Live Outside the USA? We also ship internationally. The countries listed below are already loaded in our system and will calculate at checkout. If your country isn’t listed please email us at and we’ll be happy to quote a price and delivery time and update our shopping cart for easy ordering. NOTE: All sales are final on international orders. Also be aware that your country may charge import fees separate from our price.

  • Australia: $80. 4-8 days via DHL.
  • Canada: $28. 4-10 days via USPS.
  • UK: $40. 3-7 days via DHL.
  • Spain: $40. 3-7 days via DHL.
  • Japan: $40. 3-7 days via Yamato.
  • Thailand: $75. 3-7 days via UPS or DHL.

FREE RETURNS & EXCHANGES: For all orders within the USA we will provide a pre-paid return-shipping label if needed. We do not accept returns for international orders.

To return or exchange just email us at and we’ll send you a pre-paid label. Or just return it without the label and we’ll refund an additional $20 via PayPal. Exchanges will be sent out at no extra shipping cost.

Send your returns or exchanges to:

Lazy Bandido

Attn: Returns

8912 NE Alderwood Rd

Portland, OR 97220

100% GUARANTEE: We make the best damn hammocks out there and we promise you’ll love them. But if for some reason you get shipped off to a Siberian prison and your live-in aunt Thelma wants to return that “gosh darn rainbow-looking pile of yarn” you bought from us we’ll treat her right. You can return or exchange your hammock for any reason within 1 year from the date of purchase. If you’d like to exchange just let us know which style you’d prefer and we’ll ship it back out for free once we receive your returned hammock.

Still reading? Stop. Go select your hammock already! With free shipping and returns plus a 1-year 100% guarantee there’s no risk…

$184.00Add to cart

How To Hang a Hammock

You can hang your hammock nearly anywhere, with or without a hammock stand. You only need 3 things:

  1. At least 12 ft. of space between hanging points. More is fine.
  2. 6.5 ft. of height to work with.
  3. Solid sturdy objects to hang to (wall studs, tree, post, beam, hammock stand, giraffe)

Note: Using a hammock stand? We do not currently sell hammock stands but our hammocks will work with them. Just buy a stand that has hanging points 12-15 feet apart.

The most important distances are A, B, and C. How high you drill into your wall or tie your strap to the tree depends on how far apart your walls or trees are. If they’re further than 12 ft. apart simply raise your “hanging point” accordingly so that the hammocks “eyes” remain roughly 6.5 ft. off the ground and 12 ft. apart.

Relax, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just make it look like a banana, and hang low enough to get in and you’ll be fine. Also, it’s OK to hang one end from a wall, another from a post, etc.

Position the hammock eyes:

A) 12 ft. apart

B) 6 ft. 6 in. off the ground

Position low point in middle of hammock:

C) 3ft off the ground (or waist height)

Secure two hanging points:

D) Roughly 12 ft. apart or more. Further apart is fine; just use more rope and raise the hanging point higher.

E) Roughly 6 ft. 6 in. or more off the ground. Higher is fine. If you must hang lower, than the middle of the hammock (“C”) will be closer to the ground. For example: You can use a hammock stand with hanging points 4 ft. high which will leave middle of hammock roughly 6 inches off the ground.

Visit our “How to Hammock” page for quick directions and links for tying hammock knots, using your hammock as a bed, and more.

Recommended hammock hanging distance diagram

Now that you’ve taken your hammock from your South american alter-ego, take these essential accessories to hang and display your prize. Just click the yellow “ Add to Loot” button to add the item to your loot bag, and click “Checkout above to complete payment.

Spreader Bolster Pillow: $38



  • 2 pairs of ties to secure to hammock
  • Removable, zippered, linen case for easy removal and washing –
  • Polyester fiber fill pillow core
  • Available in cream and black


$38.00 $22.80Add to cart

Wall Hanging Hammock Kit :$24



  • Great for indoor use!
  • Easily clip/unclip hammock with convenient spring clips
  • Includes two 10-foot sections of 3/8″ nylon rope, two lag screws and two spring clips with bushing

$24.00Add to cart

Tree Hugger Hammock Kit: $28



  • Makes hammock hanging more mobile and eco-friendly
  • Weather-resistant polypropylene straps
  • 400 lb. capacity per strap
  • Includes two 96″ straps with )-rings and D-rings, and two “s” hooks

$28.00Add to cart

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Choosing an Outdoor Hammock

Whether you decide to declare your allegiance to the Lazy Revolution and go with a Lazy Bandido hammock, or, you decide in favor of a less comfortable, boring model from the enemy, here is what you’ll want to know when choosing a hammock for your backyard.
First, as with any hammock, comfort is paramount. If it’s not comfortable, it’s a waste of space and money. The most comfortable outdoor hammocks feature hand-woven open weave pattern. The nylon is soft and forgiving against the skin, while the open weave allows the hammock to breathe and flex to your body weight.
Another thing you may consider is whether or not you want an all-weather hammock for your backyard. Despite any manufacturer’s claims, no outdoor hammock should be left out constantly. Fading and mold or mildew will occur. But, rope hammocks made of Duracord or solid fabric hammocks made from Sunbrella or other synthetic fabrics will resist the elements better. We don’t sell Duracord or Sunbrella hammocks. Why? Because they are not comfortable. They feel rigid and stiff against the skin and don’t allow for the careless relaxation a hammock should. But, with a Tree Hugger Hammock Kit you can quickly and easily hang your hammock and take it down between uses. Problem solved!

The Best Patio Hammocks

As with outdoor models, patio hammocks should be comfortable to lie in. But since they’ll generally be more protected from the elements you won’t need to worry as much about whether to sacrifice some of that comfort for an all-weather model. As an extension of your house, your patio should flow with the design and color patterns present in your home. The bold designs and varied colors of the Lazy Bandido line make any of them a candidate for the best patio hammock. Search through the different styles and choose the best hammock for you.

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